Peace of Mind
by Lux Aureus
Summary: As the Comet approaches, Zuko contemplates both his role within the Avatar's group and his plans for the inevitable confrontation with the Fire Lord. Canon pairings, one-shot.


Dawn's first light poked through the narrow gap in the curtains of Zuko's room, and his eyes were open. He was, like most firebenders, invigorated by daylight, waking each day with the sun. Today was no different.

Zuko stretched out on his childhood bed. When he had first suggested that the Avatar's group use his family's house on Ember Island, he had considered taking his father's suite for his own, but a single glance within stirred feelings best left buried. Instead, he kept his old room. It felt much more like home, despite the old, dusty curtains, drapes, and carpet that filled the room with the dark crimson of Fire Nation royalty. He had offered his companions the other family rooms, but they had instead decided to remain in the multiple guest rooms of the house.

Zuko stood up to get dressed, putting on pants and a shirt. Normally he'd have gotten right to stretching and firebending practice, but instead he headed for the guest rooms to wake up Aang. They would stretch together and then get right into practice. The Comet was approaching; Zuko could feel his firebending growing artificially stronger. It was incremental, barely noticeable to any but the most well-trained firebender, but it was there.

It took several minutes to get all the way from his room to the guest quarters, and he found Aang already awake and waiting for him. Good. No wasting time waking the kid up.

"Ready?" Zuko asked. No need to mince words, either. Aang nodded. "Good. Let's go."

The pair, master and student, walked out to the courtyard. They spent a handful of minutes stretching out, and then they began the mid-level firebending that Aang had been working on thus far. Zuko had assumed that Aang would progress quickly, as the Avatar, but even so he was surprised. Aang was already as good at firebending than he'd been when fighting him with Azula during the fall of Ba Sing Se. Now, though, Zuko was still clearly the superior firebender between the two, now that he had learned not to draw on the well of anger that had dried up.

He watched Aang attempt one of Zuko's own signature attacks, a kicking maneuver that released a wave of flames towards his opponent. "Not bad, but your form is too stiff. You need to be more fluid." Zuko repeated the attack, demonstrating the proper method. It was one that his uncle had taught him, and only after working with the Dancing Dragon form had he realized its connection to that ancient style.

"Ah, like this?" Aang tried again, and this time the wave moved faster and was more focused.

"Better."

"When are you going to teach me to breathe fire, Zuko?" Aang asked. It had been one of the first moves he'd wanted to learn, after hearing stories of Iroh unleashing it against the Dai Li.

"Patience, Aang." Zuko sighed. His instincts told him that Aang needed more time before moving on, but the rest of his mind was urging him forward, desperate to teach the Avatar as much as he could before Sozin's Comet.

"Maybe later today," he decided. He caught a whiff of food, and Aang instantly looked at him pitifully. "Go eat," Zuko dismissed his pupil. His own stomach growled, but there was more yet for him to do. To be best prepared, he needed to work on the more advanced techniques his Uncle had tried to teach him before... the memory made him feel physically ill. He put it aside.

Somehow, Azula was going to get involved when they moved to overthrow Ozai. Azula rarely left their father's side, and after Zuko's betrayal and the news that the Avatar was still alive, Ozai would be keeping his most trusted servant close at hand. Aang might barely be able to defeat Ozai without the Avatar State, but he certainly couldn't beat Ozai and Azula working together. No, he would need to draw her away to give Aang his chance. As much as he'd improved, he was still just barely on par with her in terms of skill. Their previous engagements had shown that. And she would be absolutely ruthless; he would do his best, and hopefully stall her long enough.

He paused in his thoughts briefly; perhaps if he had help, he might beat her. But that wasn't fair to ask: Azula was his sister, and if there was any way he could stop her from hurting any of his friends, he'd take it. If Aang slew both Ozai and Azula (assuming that he could, which caused Zuko another queasy feeling he decided to ignore) then Iroh would take the throne. It would be for the best. Zuko had no way of knowing where Iroh was or what the man was doing, but he knew that, when word came that the entire royal family was dead, he'd return from hiding. His Uncle was a man of duty, at least. He would not leave the throne vacant. Zuko hoped at least that Aang would tell Iroh of the things he'd done, and perhaps then Iroh would forgive him. And Mai... certainly Aang or Iroh would see to her safety. He wished that he could free her himself, for it really was the least he could do for his lady love, however, he knew he could not. His own future, he saw the most clearly: he would give his life in battle to protect the Avatar. Maybe, in death, he would find the redemption he sought.

Zuko continued practicing more advanced firebending forms for another hour before he heard someone approach. "Zuko, your breakfast has gone cold. Weren't you going to eat?" He recognized the voice, though he had his back turned to it.

"Sorry, Katara. I guess I got carried away. I can reheat it myself."

"What're you doing here by yourself, anyway? Shouldn't you be practicing with Aang?"

"He's not ready for these techniques yet," he answered simply and honestly. It was best not to draw the waterbender's ire, especially when it concerned Aang.

Zuko could almost feel the glare she was giving him, though he'd still not faced her. Instead, he released a swirling torrent of fire out into the woods. Although he himself was impressed by the size, he knew that it wasn't just him... it was the Comet. Several palm tree leaves were left blackened, while the flames burning on a few others petered out.

"Okay, fine," Katara eventually relented. "Everyone else is inside, Sokka said if you were feeling up to it, he'd 'fancy' some swordplay with you later."

"If there's time." He tried to make the comment sound resolute, final. There was one more technique he wanted to practice, but he didn't want the others to see it, if at all possible. She must have picked up the hint, because he heard her turn and walk away.

He heard the footsteps of Katara fade away, ending with the sound of a closing door. There. Alone.

"Positive energy, and negative energy." He whispered Iroh's words to himself, hoping to draw inspiration. "Yin and Yang."

He took a deep breath. No more waiting. He mentally prepared himself for both his inevitable failure, and the detonation that would accompany it. First, his right hand. Yin. Holding his two fingers out, he swept them down, willing himself to gather some measure of positive energy. He felt nothing. Then again, bringing his left hand in the same way, he again willed himself to draw in Yang, negative energy. Again, he felt nothing. He briefly wondered if perhaps he was _supposed_ to feel nothing, if that meant maybe it was working. Knowing that it was now or never, he brought his fingertips together, fearing the worst.

_BOOM._

Zuko felt himself launched by the backfire, and he landed on his back, wincing. That was unpleasant. But he was unsurprised. His Uncle had said that peace of mind was necessary to generate lightning; was it possible he just didn't have that? Or maybe he just wasn't worthy of it yet. Perhaps he simply was not among the few firebenders who were at all capable of lightningbending.

Still, he had redirected it once and survived, he had known its power. It was a move that Azula could not stop, it was perhaps his best chance of beating her. She would never guess he had mastered it. He didn't much like the idea of using it against her, or anyone, but it was better to have it and not need it than need it and not have it.

Once more. Left hand. Yin. Right hand. Yang. Allow the two energies to collide, provide release...

_BOOM._

Zuko cursed loudly. He remembered his uncle's words. "You will not be able to master lightning until you have dealt with the turmoil inside you." But he had! He had dealt with it! He didn't feel angry anymore. Instead, he felt mostly despair.

He sighed. There were two possible reasons for his inability to make lightning. Either he just wasn't good enough to create lightning, or it would come with practice. He wouldn't know for sure which was the case unless he kept trying.

His stomach growled and reminded him that he still hadn't eaten anything yet. He decided to pick it up later, and finally go back inside and eat.

By the time Zuko had gone back inside, it was nearly time for lunch. Zuko waited it out while Katara cooked rice, and he took the liberty of broiling the meat she'd gotten at the market. When lunch was served, he sat between Aang and Sokka, discussing a few of the finer points of Fire Nation military strategy. He found it relaxing, discussing something he'd been reading about since his youth. He finished his lunch early and went back to the kitchen to make some tea. He'd found several partially-used bags of loose tea leaves in the kitchen, but they had all lost their taste. Instead, he reached for a bag he'd purchased a few days earlier, containing jasmine leaves. He fired up the kettle and let the leaves steep, when Aang wandered into the kitchen, looking for him.

"Hey Zuko, you ready to teach me to breathe fire yet?"

Zuko turned his head and smiled. "Yup, that's what this is for," he pointed to the tea kettle. He grabbed the steeping tea along with a couple of teacups, placed it all on a tray, and walked with Aang back out to the courtyard to resume training.

"What's tea got to do with firebending?" Aang asked while they walked.

Zuko chuckled. "Depends on who you ask. Iroh would have said that tea had _everything_ to do with firebending." Aang smiled at the jest. "This tea will help you clear your mind, and it also helps with your breath. Think of it like... an instant firebending enhancer."

"So it'll make my firebending stronger?" Aang asked, eyes wide. Zuko could already see Aang planning to carry a tea kettle into battle against the Fire Lord.

"Well, yes, but only for about a second or two." Aang sighed, and his eyes returned to their normal size.

"But," Zuko held up his index finger instructively, "It will be helpful in teaching you this technique. Watch." He entered a firebending stance and hurled a blast of fire from his mouth. Then he poured himself a cup of the tea. "It's important that the tea be hot when you drink it, too." He gauged the temperature with his hand around the cup, judging it to be adequate.

He brought the cup to his lips, drained the cup in a single sip, and then immediately moved his hands away and released another blast of fire from his mouth, this one far larger and far hotter. Wisps of fire passed over the fountain in the center of the courtyard before colliding with the falling water and finally fizzling out.

"Wow!" Aang shouted, grabbing the other cup hurriedly. "Let me try!"

"Remember Aang, it's not the force of your body. The power in firebending comes from the breath," Zuko counseled the student before letting him start.

It didn't take long for Aang to get the hang of the technique. It wasn't terribly complicated, and as he thought, the tea's boost made it manifest more easily, so Aang could rapidly begin to see how tiny changes affected the size and shape of the blast.

Once again, they found themselves interrupted by Katara. Zuko took a deep breath so as not to snap at her as she interrupted his lesson again. "Aang, are you still working on firebending with Zuko?"

Aang turned and smiled. "Look, Katara, I can breathe fire!" He gave her a demonstration.

Katara sighed dismissively. "Well great, I'm sure that'll come in handy the next time you need to impersonate a dragon. But maybe you should go work on earthbending with Toph now."

"Oh, okay." Aang frowned a bit.

"And Zuko, Sokka hasn't stopped bugging me. Would you please duel him or something? He's driving me nuts."

Zuko nodded. "I guess that's enough for today." He watched Katara leave once more, and noticed the look in Aang's eyes.

"What's wrong?" Zuko gave a smirk and nudged the Avatar in the shoulder. "Lady trouble?" He had known the young man's amorous inclinations towards the waterbender for a while now, and since Aang was one of his best friends, he felt obligated to offer what advice he could on the matter.

Aang was startled, but the look in Zuko's eye told him he already knew. "Uhh... yeah. She said she was 'confused.' What do you think she means?"

Zuko narrowed his eyes contemplatively. It wasn't much to go on. Mentally, he wished he could recall something Iroh-like to tell the kid. But his mind was drawing a blank. Any time his uncle had offered to give him lady advice, the embarrassment had overwhelmed him and he'd failed to take much notice. That is, the times he hadn't walked back to his room on the ship to try and forget everything he'd been told. Apparently it had worked pretty well.

By now Aang was looking at him oddly, with his head tilted to the side. "Anything going on up there, Zuko?"

The comment returned Zuko from his memories, and he blinked a few times. "Well, if she says she's confused, it's probably best not to pressure her about it. I'd give her some space."

"To what end?"

Zuko sighed. "Well, think of it this way. If she starts to miss you, perhaps she'll realize she feels the same way about you. If she doesn't, then the bit of distance will help you make a clean break more easily."

"A clean break? But I don't want a clean break! I love Katara!" Aang was very upset by Zuko's plan.

"But you can't make her love you, Aang. Listen. You're twelve, right? You've got your whole life ahead of you. If she's not the one, then you'll find another girl." He swept his hands out as if to indicate the whole world of potential bachelorettes available to him. Instead, Aang shook his head.

"No, I love Katara, and that's that."

"Boy, you really are a kid," Zuko chastised. "Look, just trust me. Give her some time and some space to sort through her feelings. I promise you, you'll be glad you did. You think I managed to get Mai by following her like an overgrown wolfbear pup?"

"Okay, Zuko," Aang relented, walking off to see Toph. Zuko wondered if Aang would take his advice to heart. He wished his friend luck, but he acknowledged an ulterior motive: Aang didn't need to be distracted by wondering whether the pair of blue eyes was interested in him right now. The kid had a Fire Lord to kill.

He scratched his forehead. Well, nothing else he could really do about it. He drained the last of the tea into a cup before reheating it with his hand and quaffing it. As he felt the warm liquid settle in his stomach, he sighed. Maybe his uncle was on to something.

He and Sokka decided to practice swordplay in the sand, on the beach outside the house. They found that unique scenery made the duel more interesting, as it always changed their strategies.

"Dodge faster!" Zuko shouted as he charged the water tribe warrior with his dual blades. Sokka hurried to position his sword to parry both blades at once, but he wasn't quite fast enough. Zuko's left blade got past the defense and halted mere inches from Sokka's arm. Zuko withdrew. "Remember, you can't just focus on one blade at a time! These swords are two halves of the same whole. You have to defend against them that way too."

Sokka was getting frustrated. "Hey, it's harder than it looks! You try parrying two blades with one blade! It's not easy!"

Zuko sighed. "You need to play to the strengths of your weapon, rather than focusing on the strengths of your opponent's. Tell me, what advantage do you have over me with that sword?"

Sokka thought for a second. Zuko prepared for the joke response he knew was coming.

"It's made of magic space metal!" Bingo. Zuko gave him a deadpan stare.

"Or... maybe it's because I have two hands on the sword?"

Zuko smiled. "Right. That sword is longer than mine, giving it better leverage, and since you have two hands on the hilt, you can apply more force than I can with either of mine."

"Good idea, Zuko. I may have to be nimbler on my feet to dodge your attacks, but so will you. If I put the full force of both arms into the swing, even with both swords you'll have trouble stopping it. I like where your head is." Even Zuko could see that Sokka was no ordinary warrior. What the young man lacked in skill, he compensated for with clever tactics and quick thinking. Zuko could offer him advice on actual sword combat, having had several years more practice, but he would never be able to outthink Sokka. That was why Sokka usually won their duels.

True to Zuko's estimation, Sokka used a unique ducking maneuver to move under both of Zuko's swords and catch him at point blank with his own. It would have been unworkable anywhere else besides the damp yet forgiving sand on the beach. Zuko dropped his blades, Sokka's black sword at his throat.

"You got me." They both smiled as Sokka withdrew the weapon and sheathed it carefully.

Sokka turned to leave. "Thanks for the practice, Zuko. Same time tomorrow?"

"Not sure, I have to check my schedule."

Sokka had taken several steps away, but stopped and looked over his shoulder at Zuko before laughing. "Oh come on, surely you're not that put-upon here."

Zuko glared at him, a little miffed. "My time is valuable. Besides, you can practice with Suki any time."

"I _do_ practice with Suki a lot, but not swordplay... _if you know what I mean_." Sokka gave Zuko a wink before leaving, laughing, which instantly left Zuko wanting to forget what he'd just heard.

He looked around, and realized that he was alone again. Back to work.

Left hand. Yin. Right hand. Yang. Deep breath. Allow them to recombine, provide release.

_BOOM._

He instantly regretted the time he'd spent in the courtyard practicing this morning. Landing on the sand was much softer than the polished stone in the courtyard. Although he could feel that his spine and shoulder blades were bruised from his multiple failures earlier, it still felt better to land in the sand. It absorbed a bit of the landing, he supposed. He repeated the exercise several more times, wondering if anyone in the house was getting suspicious about the repeated sounds of explosions. Even if they were, they'd never seen anyone fail to bend lightning, so they had no way of knowing that was the sound it made.

The sun began sinking into the deeper part of the sky, and Zuko knew it was almost time for dinner. His muscles were sore from the day's extensive workout, so he decided to soothe himself in a warm bath before dinner.

The royal bath was exquisite, especially once the gang had cleaned it up a bit. With fresh towels hanging nearby and the layer of dust removed (all at once, by an exuberant young airbender who then spent the rest of the day in a fit of coughing) it looked as he remembered in his youth, with one exception. The bath was designed to accommodate at least one, and usually two, attendants. Zuko had always found it embarrassing and unnecessary, but Azula had drawn much pleasure out of ordering servants to bathe her. There were no attendants now, of course, and Zuko thought it a vast improvement.

He turned the large, silver faucet and waited for the great, hemispherical tub to fill with water. It filled rather quickly, but he figured that perhaps he was comparing it to when he was a youth, and nothing seemed to happen fast enough. He stepped into the tub, finding the water to be absolutely freezing. He closed his eyes and focused, rapidly bringing the temperature of the water to a tolerable bathing temperature. More than once, he'd been asked to heat the bathwater for another of his friends. Only Aang had not asked, because he knew Zuko would refuse. It was good practice, practice that Aang needed.

He lay in the bath for rather a long time, letting his aching muscles relax. Eventually he grabbed the soap and began to wash away the dust of the day's events, before draining the bath and drying off. He shuffled his clothes back on, and walked down to one of the sitting rooms, where Suki had been kind enough to prepare dinner. Sokka was congratulating her on her excellent cooking, but Aang, Katara, and Toph looked slightly put off.

He grabbed a plate and tried it. It was... different, certainly. It wasn't bad by any means. It distinctly reminded him of the times he'd eaten Earth Kingdom food, which was still a step up from the ship rations he'd been on for most of the last three years. He decided that everyone was just used to Katara's cooking. Neither Katara nor Suki made food spicy enough for his tastes, though. He reached for a bottle of hot sauce containing a mixture of common Fire Nation peppers, often used as a condiment at mealtimes. He dribbled a teaspoon of the red paste over his fish and vegetables, looking away at Suki's glare.

"You have a problem with my cooking, Zuko?" she asked him teasingly. Everyone knew Zuko had to put the 'sauce' on everything he ate. He had tried once to cook for them, but there had been too much competition for the well afterwards as everyone tried to soothe the fire in their mouths... except Zuko, who had enjoyed watching them squirm. That night, they'd agreed that Zuko could make desserts, tea, and nothing else for them, and they abided his hot sauce habit with their food.

Dinner was quite filling, and after he'd helped clean up the dishes, he decided to go for a walk. The sun was setting, and although he could feel his power waning, it wasn't as much as usual. The effect of the Comet was becoming more pronounced. He could not go far from the house; he was not wearing a cloak, and his scar was famous amongst the Fire Nation, and he did not want to risk being recognized. At best, they would accuse him of his scar being 'on the wrong side' and he would growl at them. At worst, word might pass that Zuko was holding out in his parent's old summer house and they'd have the whole Fire Nation military bearing down upon them. Instead, he wandered around for a block or two, stretching his legs a bit. As the sun finally sank below the sky, and the golds and reds turned to blues and black, he wandered back to the beach in front of their house. Again, there was nobody there. In the light of the moon, he once more began practice. He removed his shirt, not wanting to risk it getting caught on fire.

Left hand. Yin. Right hand. Yang.

_BOOM._

He tried again, to the same result.

"Zuko! What are you doing?" Oh no. Katara. Before he could try to calm her down, she'd bounded down the stairs towards him.

"It's not a big deal, I'm just practicing."

Katara gaped at him. "Practicing what, turning into Combustion Man?"

"No, it's a different move, I just haven't learned it yet," he tried to explain, but she'd noticed the bruises on his back.

"How many times have you been doing this?" she asked him angrily, using her waterbending to bring water from the ocean to her hands before placing them on his back. "This looks terrible!" Then her eyes widened. "Wait a minute, you're the one who's been making that loud booming noise all day!" she pointed at him accusatorily.

_Sigh._ "Don't freak out, Katara, it's not a big deal."

She wasn't about to listen to that. "I don't care what move you're trying to pull off, if it needs me to heal you like this after, you shouldn't be trying it."

Zuko couldn't help but laugh. "Whatever you say, Mom." He instantly regretted it.

The bruises fully healed, she released the water and gave him a none-too-soft smack on the back of his head. "You shut up."

Zuko paused. "You know, it's not a bad thing. This group needs a mom." He sat down on the sand near the water, letting the tide lap around his toes.

Katara sat down beside him. "I know. I've actually... had this conversation before." She blushed a little. "I don't mind it so much."

"You shouldn't. It's kind of a compliment."

Katara laughed. "Okay, so what were you doing out here? What's this new move?"

Zuko's head dropped. "First, promise you won't get mad."

Katara groaned. "Uh oh."

"I was trying to make lightning."

Zuko would have laughed at the look on her face, except that it was directed at him.

"What are you thinking?" She reached out her hand again to smack him on the head, but he caught it.

"I don't know," he admitted. "I don't think I'd ever use it against someone. But... it bothers me. Azula, Ozai, Iroh, they can all make lightning. And I, apparently, can't." He shrugged his shoulders. "It just blows up, hence the noise... and the bruises."

"Zuko, just because you can't make lightning, it doesn't make you any less of a good warrior."

"I know, I know," he sighed. "I don't know why it bothers me, it just does. But never mind, let's talk about something else."

"Like what?" she waited for him to suggest a topic.

"Well, what are you doing out here?" he smiled.

She pointed to the moon. "Unlike you, I prefer to practice my waterbending at night. I was coming out here to train."

Zuko nodded. "You should probably practice during the day though," he added.

"Why's that?" she looked at him oddly.

"Well, we'll probably end up battling the Fire Lord during the day. Besides, a Master like you would be better off training when you're not at your strongest, so you'll be all the more powerful when the advantage is yours."

"Then why don't you train at night, Mister Firebender?"

Zuko chuckled. "Well for one, I'm teaching Aang. He needs all the help he can get. Even if that weren't the case, our studies are based on Sun Warrior tradition. As in, 'the Sun.'"

"Right," Katara understood. "Oh, there was something else. Aang's been acting differently today. Did you have a talk with him or something?"

"We talk during practice some, why?" Zuko had a bad feeling he knew where this was headed.

"Do you... talk about me?" she looked at him sternly, but nervously.

"I don't like to talk about people behind their back." Technically that was the truth, even if it didn't answer her question.

"Huh, he's just been a little aloof today. Normally he's always walking around with me. I dunno, maybe he's just in a bit of a bad mood."

Zuko hid a smile. "I'm sure he'll be back to normal in no time."

Katara's face was full of sadness, and when she spoke, it was almost to herself. "I hope so."

Zuko stretched his arms and stood up. It was nice, every once in a while, to see the fruits of his labors. "Well, if you're going to do your waterbending, I'll head back inside." He stooped to pick up his shirt.

Katara stood up. "No, I don't think I will. Thanks for the chat, Zuko. You know..." she stifled a giggle.

"What?" He dropped the shirt and stood back up.

"Sometimes, the way you act, it's like you're the group's dad."

Zuko was surprised. "What do you mean?"

Katara patted him on the shoulder. "Well, you're always there to help when one of us needs it. You sort of lead by example. You're kind of gruff and mean, but I can tell you care about us." She laughed. "Actually, the more I think about it, you remind me of the way you talk about your uncle."

Zuko's face turned from confusion to shock; he was genuinely touched. "I do?"

"Yeah! He was always there for you, he taught you and helped you, and now you do the same for us." She smiled teasingly. "I guess maybe we should start calling you Dad."

"Don't you dare," Zuko joked, but he was still pleased. She had said he was like Iroh: it was perhaps the nicest thing anyone had ever said to him.

Katara waved goodbye and walked back into the house.

"I'm their Dad, huh?" Zuko chuckled as he whispered the words to himself. He turned back towards the ocean.

"To perform this technique requires peace of mind." He brought his right hand out and down, trying once more to extract Yin from the air. Was it his imagination, or was there a bit of a crackle and a spark of blue light this time?

_CRACK-KABOOM!_ A small peal of lightning shot out across the water, causing Suki to jump in Sokka's arms.

She looked outside her window, and up to the sky. "Odd, doesn't look like rain. Wonder where it came from?"

Sokka sighed. "Maybe it's dry lightning. Or maybe..." he reached up to tickle her, "Maybe it's Azula come to get us!"

Suki jumped again as she felt his hands around her waist. "Oh, no, what brave man will save me from the Evil Princess?" she laughed.

Sokka dropped his voice substantially. "I, Wang Fire, will save the noble lady from the Evil Princess and her evil Fire Nation!" He shut the window as another bolt sounded outside, and they returned to what they'd been doing.


End file.
